Change again...

Tapping on my keyboard...

I should be studying for the tomorrow’s test instead of reminiscing about the old days...

Sorry I can’t help it...haha...my mind has to wonder off somehow.

My best friend (lion lew...haha) always say that “change is the only thing constant.”


That is 100% true.


I just haven’t been able to embrace change yet.


The thing is I hate change. I’m afraid of it.


There I finally said it out loud...I mean wrote it down black and white.


I hate going into the unknown. I don’t know where my life will be like in 2 years...5 years...10 years time. Heck, I don’t even know what my life will be like in 18 days...


Honestly I’m scared beyond scared.


I salute those of my friends who have moved on with their lives. I don’t know how they do it. I don’t know how you can just forget about things that happened or the good friends you made over the years. How? It just seems so unreal. I suspect that they are ALIENS~


I met a friend at an interview one day. He told me that sooner or later the good friends in college will forget about you, you’ll hang out less with them until the point where they become nonexistent. (Okay, I added the nonexistent part...haha). But at first I regarded what he said as a myth. A myth, a belief that I can prove wrong. Cause I think that if we put effort to meet or contact each other then we can still get the friendship going right? I still plan to prove him wrong you know (fingers crossed!).


You know koko Duckie (haha) said something I will never forget. He said: “We all have to move on with our lives. Why worry about these small things?”


I hate to admit it but he is right. I mean this is the time to grow up. And if changes come, don’t be afraid of it...for once I should look forward for it in a positive way. I shouldn’t hold on so tightly to people and circumstances of the past. If they can move with the change then why can’t I?


You see...I have nothing to lose tomorrow well (maybe just my pride) but still I feel intimidated and afraid. Silly right? I just hate being labelled stupid. The very core of my soul hates when people call me stupid. You know why? I came to the realisation that sometimes I believe I am stupid. But today I have changed my thinking. If tomorrow I do not pass that daunting test it doesn’t mean I am stupid, it just means I’m in 90% of the population (Bell curve lah). Correct? It means I am normal. And by the way,by whose standards do we benchmark smartness? There’s always someone who is smarter than the smartest person right?


Time to grow up. Time to put away my childish thoughts. 1 Corinthians 14:20 says: “ Brothers, stop thinking like children. In regard to evil be infants, but in your thinking be adults.”


Please read this book. It makes you change your thinking about change.

The Innocent Man

Justice and Fairness... These are the 2 things lacking in this world.

I have finished reading John Grisham’s book ‘The Innocent Man’. The book is so frightening to read because its gruesome tale is a true life story.

It’s about the life of Ron Williamson. He was a star college baseball player who was destined to chase after his dreams. But in 1982, the police arrested him for murder. A murder he did not commit. There were no DNA evidence and no trace of him near the young woman who was raped and brutally murdered. And he was wrongfully convicted and sent to Death Row.

The trial given to him was never fair. A bunch of liars took the stand and gave fake testimonies against him. The prosecutors made it their duty to paint a bad picture of this innocent man so that he would be sentenced to Death.

By the way, Death Row isn’t like the way we see it in ‘Prison Break’. Death Row is a serious place. A place where few people have gone and have never returned. Ron was in jail a total of 12 years. Imagine waiting in prison for that day when you will be dragged off the tiny cell you live in to be executed. Imagine not having proper food. Imagine being given 2 pairs of clothes to wear for the rest of your life. Imagine not being able to see your family. Imagine that only 1 hr a day is given to you to breathe fresh air in 4 wall brick compound. Finally imagine you were convicted for something you never did. How would you keep your sanity?

He spent years in prison before his appeal was ever heard. Only after 12 years, he was exonerated. 12 years! 12 years of his life lost. His mother died when he was in prison. He eventually died after being freed from prison due to some liver disease. He prayed to God to take him home.

Everyday someone is being wrongfully sentenced to death. I pray that God will watch over these people and give them the true life that awaits them beyond death.

This was a hard book to read. It taught me how short life is. How we take things for granted and people too. We can’t guarantee that we will be here on earth tomorrow. How meaningless my life suddenly becomes when I read this book.

5th January

Today I woke up and I realised it was 5th January. =)
I couldn’t help but smile. =)

I like this day.

Every year it’s the day that I eagerly wait for.

And every year good things always happen on this day. Maybe it’s just coincidence. But I think that God really blessed this day and made it extra special for me. =) The day that reminds me I can still dream big dreams and hope for the best.

I’d like to say thanks to Sze for sending these all the way from Paris. I just got them today. =) haha...