Happy New Year:)

It’ll be new year in 30 minutes time... (bdw, this blog time slow wan so don’t kena tipu)
New Year=New Beginning

I’m not going to make any new year’s resolution...cause I always break them. So I’m just going to say that I’ll work hard to try to be a better person. I feel so much better today=)

Someone once said : “ You can’t make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved, the rest is up to the person to realise your worth.”

So for now I want to chase after my dreams now and change to be a better person (hopefully). And maybe one day someone will see my worth and accept all my imperfections & mistakes. =)

By the way, I just want to wish everyone Happy 2009. May you have a life full of happiness, good health, money and always be around those you love. =)

Oh and I wrote this poem for a good friend of mine a few days ago. Although it is quite lousy but I really mean the words I wrote. So I just hope I’m forgiven.

I look forward for sleep
To avoid facing the sadness I keep
I hide away from everyone
Because there’s nothing that can undo what’s done
I was once your best friend
But now it feels like the end
Everything I said that day was a mistake
Please forgive me for our friendship’s sake
Life is too short for you to be mad
So stop thinking about the things I did that make you sad
I hope you know I’m truly sorry
Especially for those times I made you worry
I know I uttered some mean words
It probably hurt you more than real swords
I admit that I was wrong
But why are you still avoiding me for so long?
Can’t you see that I still care?
So please stop giving me that angry stare
Why can’t you just forgive and forget?
And go back to the time we first met?
I wish I could have my best friend back
So that happy memories in future we will not lack

My Dearest Friend~

I wrote this poem when I was in the foundation programme...there's another poem called 'salvation' but i won't put it up here yet.

I feel empty inside
I don’t know where to hide
I know you’re gone
And I’m all alone
It’s just terrible
Sometimes even unbearable
Destiny took you away
Now I miss you everyday
I remember the times we spent together
I thought it would last forever
The secrets we’ve shared
The talks we’ve had
The jokes you made
To make my worries fade
You always understood
Even when I was in my worst mood
A few years have gone by
But my tears still haven’t run dry
You’ll forever be in my heart
Even death can’t break us apart

Merry Christmas...

Christmas is a day away


But somehow the ‘feel’ of Christmas is missing this year


Maybe things are incomplete for me I guess


This year my family has no plans


My friends on the other hand are busy with their own plans


Actually they are scattered all over the place...


Some are honey-mooning in Europe and Australia right now


Some are in Alor Setar (without Kimmy...haha!), Ipoh, Johor, Penang, Singapore, Paris, Sydney And the country that starts with a ‘U’ (Can’t guess?...United States of America lah!)


This year GBF isn’t coming home also which makes Christmas feel weird somehow, like something is missing... (Bdw, I miss your crappy jokes)


But you know what? I think we sometimes forget what Christmas really is; we forget the reason to celebrate...


Christmas isn’t just another holiday in our calendar


Christmas isn’t just about gifts, trees, decorations and turkey


Christmas isn’t just another family and friends gathering (We should remember them more often than once a year!)


Christmas is definitely not just for couples (no offence ah)


Finally Christmas isn’t about Santa, his sleigh and Rudolph the red nose reindeer (lol)


So what is Christmas to me??


Christmas is about LOVE (Harlow, not Boy-Girl-Relationship Love lah)


It’s about God’s love for us; somehow we matter to Him


It’s about Jesus coming into this world to save us...and that’s my reason to celebrate


John 3:16: “For God so love the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”


1 John 4:19: “We love because HE FIRST LOVED US.”


There’s this quote that I love. Brooke Davis said it in One Tree Hill...


“Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds. When life gets hard, when things change, true love remains the same.”


This is it.


I hope you find the reason to celebrate...Merry Christmas!

Crappy Job Hunting Days =)

I’m really happy for my friends who have started their working life =) Soon I’ll have many audit associates, taxation associates (lol is that what you call it?), analysts, oh yes and not forgetting (drum roll please…) the soon to be personal fitness instructor… Free services k from all of you? HAHAHA…


Anyways, I went for an interview yesterday. Quite funny experience =) It was a good thing I went early, had a full tank of petrol and had money to pay for the toll. Know why? Cause I got lost and had to pay extra toll and was stuck in the jam for like an hour. But I reached on time, thank goodness =)


Why was it a funny experience? Cause when I was there filling up the form so ngam met an old classmate who was applying for the same post! LOL. Previously we worked together in a few assignments…and I truly have to say he is a better candidate for the job. Cause he is outspoken, has good public relation skills and is very active in extra curriculum activities. In fact I really do hope he gets the job lah =)


Let me tell you about the job…the pay is really good for a fresh graduate. 3k leh~ But must pass ALL 4 stages in order to get the job:


Stage 1: Interview with HR, personality test and Essay writing
Stage 2: IQ test
Stage 3: Interview with corporate heads
Stage 4: Presentation of Case Study


I baru habis stage 1 and I’m waiting to see if can get to stage 2. Have to wait for them to call to see if I passed the interview. Actually to be honest, I’m not anxious if I don’t get to stage 2 cause of two things. The first is the bond with the company for 2 years (meaning I have to pay back all the salary if I leave anytime which I’m not keen on) and the second is that I think God always has a plan. Who knows maybe He will give me something better? Although I would really like to earn 3k for my starting salary (haha)


Here’s something a friend reminded me: “If God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and gone tomorrow, won’t he more surely care for you?”( Matthew 6:30, NLT)



Don't you just hate it when you know your friend is correct? (LAUGHS~)

Leave People Better Than When You First Found Them~

You know I find that there are two kinds of people: The ‘GIVERS’ and the ‘TAKERS’. Which of these are we? Do we feed energy into people or do we drain energy from them? Ever wonder why sometimes when people see us they run away? (Laughs) Hey sometimes it’s not because we’re ugly or smelly ok (Although my friend still thinks this is the main cause…lol). Sometimes it’s because of our attitude problems.

I wish I can safely say I am a ‘Giver’…but sadly I am not one. Haih~ It’s very hard to constantly be a ‘Giver’ lor. I think it requires too much patience, love, kindness…etc. I don’t know how all the ‘Givers’ of this world do it la…They have super powers gua:) It is even harder to be so giving to people you hate… sometimes you just feel like punching their faces :P lol. You know the parable of the good Samaritan in Luke 10:25-37 is very hard to follow (at least for me la). It shows that we should love our enemies as ourselves.

Har? Love my enemies as myself? Seriously?! I mean when someone is mean to you…takkan you still treat them nicely? God ah…seriously meh?! I am so ticked off right now and You want me to treat someone who is being a jerk/ jerkie (my version for female jerk…lol) nicely?

Like for example: when you go for interview and the HR people cucuk you. In your heart you want to just walk out of the room and slam the door hard. And say babi HR people…think you all so great ah?!!! (LOL) But then you remember in Luke says love your “enemy”…so you have no choice to relax and smile and let all your anger slip away. Ok lah besides that you also need the job what…lol. Basically I find it so HARD lah…

So I hope the next few days when I go for interviews that God can humble my heart to treat people I don’t like nicely. If the interview goes badly then you will know why it rained these few days… cause I’ll be singing ‘Bad Day’ all the way home. I hope I can slowly change lah…:) for the better I mean…

Change For The Better:)

I’ve been sick for more than a week now. It’s quite unusual for me to be sick for so long especially since it’s only the regular cough and fever. The doc saw me twice this week, and during the second visit he actually gave me an injection and stronger dosage of medicine. He mention about the phlegm spreading to my lungs which is causing the bad cough. Don’t be alarmed…He’s my trusted family doc…but I think if I see him again next week…he’ll probably just shut the clinic down.(laughs)

Anyways, being sick and stuck in the house is so unproductive. I’m quite ticked off actually since this is time I’m supposed to be seriously job hunting. And well I only managed to send resumes to a few companies. I’m disappointed because the banks are quite shallow minded in that they are emphasizing ONLY on the CGPA. My CGPA isn’t that fantastic I have to say, but there are other qualities to judge a person’s capabilities right?

I finally picked up my guitar today just to release the stress and to clear my mind off the other problems that are bugging me. I played that ‘short melody’ again. The one that always makes me feel much better…

And it got me thinking again. Despite everything I’m going through, I try my best to listen to problems of my close friends and to help them out as much as I can. This is just my nature I guess cause I know how it feels like to not have someone by your side to tell you not give up when life is tough. I’m not exactly an expressive kind of person. I show that I care through my actions and sometimes I just like to do simple things like call or send an sms or make a video just for laughs or bake my “lousy lemon cheesecake”. Haha just to cheer you all up. Okay don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to prove that I’m a saint or that I’m the “best person” or anything. But my point is I really do try my best because I care about my friends and family. You know what’s the saddest thing? It actually hurts when people not only don’t appreciate what you do for them but when they say mean things to you. I mean I do all this and I don’t expect anyone one of you to appreciate me but can you at least have a heart not to give me rude remarks? And not say that I’m bad friend and that I’m cold and heartless. I accept that I’m different from other people and sometimes doing the little things is the only way I know how to show that I care. Sometimes people forget that I’m only human and that I make mistakes too just like everyone else. I’m sorry I can’t be perfect and I’m sorry you don’t think I appreciate everything you all do for me. And I’m sorry some of you just can’t see the true person within me despite all my best efforts. Well this is life… nobody said it was going to be easy…

It would be so easy for me to give up and care less. It would be so easy for me to walk out and stop wanting to help. But you know what? I’m not going to sit around and cry and give up just cause some people push me around or just cause it’s hard. You know a good friend of mine told me just this week to step out and make a change. To try and give it my best shot even if it’s so hard. Cause tough times will build character. At the end of the day, I know I won’t regret because I tried my best and worked hard in everything I do. And you know what? I realized that I don’t have to please everybody and I don’t need people to compliment and appreciate me for the things I do. It’s okay if after this some people still think of me in a bad light cause today it’s not about YOU ALL anymore. For once I get to be “selfish” and say it’s about me. What you think of me is not going to stop me from doing what is right.

The last thing I want to say is that for some of my friends who are going through the hardest times in their lives or the so called ‘early life crisis’, DON’T GIVE UP just cause it’s hard. Do the best that you can in this situation. Our future is always filled with uncertainties… BUT you’re not alone…you’ve got me as a friend remember?:) And most importantly you have God who will always give you everything you ask for or something better in His timing I guess. So have a little faith k?

Friends Video

Here's something I made for my dear old Uni friends to watch... Enjoy~

A Time To Say Goodbye~

(This was something I wrote a couple of weeks back, I was in a very emo state…lol…)

I have just finished the last exam paper. Yes the very final ONE. The ONE that tells you UNI LIFE is over and it’s time to move on to PHASE 3 of your life: working adulthood. I should be happy to know that hopefully if I pass everything I’ll graduate. BUT…

I don’t know why I feel more sad than happy…

Feel like the day I finished SPM…just maybe worst…

How can I say goodbye? How can I say goodbye to the friends that I spent 3 to 4 years of my life with? How do you say goodbye to the memories stuck inside your head? How do you bid farewell to the people who made you grow up?

It feels like it was only yesterday that I stood at the concourse of Metropolitan College as the freshie. That was the day I found out the building was only a rectangle (a really small rectangle). I was conned into thinking the pool and the playground was the college’s property… I still remember looking around the class with my usual blur expression. Which of these will be my friends?

I think I started having a larger group of close friends when I entered year two. I still remember the lecturer even commented that he never saw such a bunch of students that could be so close, he called us “homogenous”. A bunch meaning about close to 13 people. Funny how we had to drive the Avanza and another one or two cars just to fit everyone to get to lunch. Or the time we all wore same colored shirts to celebrate someone’s birthday. Or the time we stayed up playing truth or dare and drinking beer as punishment during holiday trips. I guess it’s the little things that I remember that made my life in Uni so meaningful.

Along the way, a few friends left for Australia but the remaining few of us still stuck together even though we had entirely different classes (majors). Every semester we would deliberately choose an elective so that all of us would be in the same class. I guess these bunch of jokers are like my second family.

Some of the people in this ‘little family’ ended up being ‘real family’…haha…they ended up being a couple lah. And that makes you feel much happier for them too. But it wasn’t all fun all the time, because some of these people also ended up not being friends with each other anymore. And that’s the downside of being too close I guess….

What I REALLY want to say is that I’m going to miss Uni Life….

I’ll miss the people/ my friends/ my ‘little family’- the “zoo animals”…

I’ll miss the laughter, the tears, the stories, jokes…

I wish I didn’t have to say goodbye. I wish everyone wouldn’t have to go our separate ways and not come back. I wish the world was flat. I wish we were all only separated by 6 minutes of distance and not long hours drive apart…BUT I know it’s impossible. I guess we all have to move on…At least I can wish for one last logical thing…I wish that we will all always be friends and that we’ll meet again someday.