Change For The Better:)

I’ve been sick for more than a week now. It’s quite unusual for me to be sick for so long especially since it’s only the regular cough and fever. The doc saw me twice this week, and during the second visit he actually gave me an injection and stronger dosage of medicine. He mention about the phlegm spreading to my lungs which is causing the bad cough. Don’t be alarmed…He’s my trusted family doc…but I think if I see him again next week…he’ll probably just shut the clinic down.(laughs)

Anyways, being sick and stuck in the house is so unproductive. I’m quite ticked off actually since this is time I’m supposed to be seriously job hunting. And well I only managed to send resumes to a few companies. I’m disappointed because the banks are quite shallow minded in that they are emphasizing ONLY on the CGPA. My CGPA isn’t that fantastic I have to say, but there are other qualities to judge a person’s capabilities right?

I finally picked up my guitar today just to release the stress and to clear my mind off the other problems that are bugging me. I played that ‘short melody’ again. The one that always makes me feel much better…

And it got me thinking again. Despite everything I’m going through, I try my best to listen to problems of my close friends and to help them out as much as I can. This is just my nature I guess cause I know how it feels like to not have someone by your side to tell you not give up when life is tough. I’m not exactly an expressive kind of person. I show that I care through my actions and sometimes I just like to do simple things like call or send an sms or make a video just for laughs or bake my “lousy lemon cheesecake”. Haha just to cheer you all up. Okay don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to prove that I’m a saint or that I’m the “best person” or anything. But my point is I really do try my best because I care about my friends and family. You know what’s the saddest thing? It actually hurts when people not only don’t appreciate what you do for them but when they say mean things to you. I mean I do all this and I don’t expect anyone one of you to appreciate me but can you at least have a heart not to give me rude remarks? And not say that I’m bad friend and that I’m cold and heartless. I accept that I’m different from other people and sometimes doing the little things is the only way I know how to show that I care. Sometimes people forget that I’m only human and that I make mistakes too just like everyone else. I’m sorry I can’t be perfect and I’m sorry you don’t think I appreciate everything you all do for me. And I’m sorry some of you just can’t see the true person within me despite all my best efforts. Well this is life… nobody said it was going to be easy…

It would be so easy for me to give up and care less. It would be so easy for me to walk out and stop wanting to help. But you know what? I’m not going to sit around and cry and give up just cause some people push me around or just cause it’s hard. You know a good friend of mine told me just this week to step out and make a change. To try and give it my best shot even if it’s so hard. Cause tough times will build character. At the end of the day, I know I won’t regret because I tried my best and worked hard in everything I do. And you know what? I realized that I don’t have to please everybody and I don’t need people to compliment and appreciate me for the things I do. It’s okay if after this some people still think of me in a bad light cause today it’s not about YOU ALL anymore. For once I get to be “selfish” and say it’s about me. What you think of me is not going to stop me from doing what is right.

The last thing I want to say is that for some of my friends who are going through the hardest times in their lives or the so called ‘early life crisis’, DON’T GIVE UP just cause it’s hard. Do the best that you can in this situation. Our future is always filled with uncertainties… BUT you’re not alone…you’ve got me as a friend remember?:) And most importantly you have God who will always give you everything you ask for or something better in His timing I guess. So have a little faith k?